3x Thursday: Dreams

Once again from Missy Williams:

1. When you were a kid growing up, was there one place that you always wanted to visit? Did you ever get to go?
   I still haven't been to Japan. I've wanted to go there since I was about 14. I did get a chance to travel to Scotland when I was little, but I definitely want to go back.
2. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Why?
   In a perfect world, I'd live in a castle somewhere in the Scottish Highlands. It's wonderful country and it's where a lot of family originates.
3. If you could pick one 'time' to live in (Star Trek time, Star Wars time, HHGTG time, etc), which would it be?
   Definitely Star Wars time, during the Old Republic. I'd definitely live on Coruscant, the heart of the Republic and try to join the Jedi Order. Yes, I know I'm a dork :-P.

Bonus: If you could go anywhere in the universe (if you want to be boring, you can stay on Earth) and do anything, where would you go and what would you do? (No, it doesn't have to be plausable or logical)
I would want to go to the very edge of the Universe, just to see what the heck is out there.

Teaching is not my strong suit

Yesterday at work I had to spend my day running an informal training session for our consultants. I talked all about the XML reporting engine I wrote last year and what you could do with it. Public speaking has never been one of my strong suits, and I often have a hard time explaining things to a large crowd. Luckily I knew all of the people there, so it wasn't too bad.

Plus the fact that I got some free food out of the deal wasn't half bad either.

Time for a little gambling

After a rather productive day at work (for a change), I'll be heading down to Waltham to hang with the boys from NU. We'll be having a little poker game and I'm sure there will be lots of drinking and other assorted nonsense. It ought to be a good time, even if I do lose all my money.

Camping Hangover

So Shane and I went up to Vermont for a night over the weekend. We camped at our usual spot and had a really good time as usual. It was dry, so wood was easy to come by and the fire was easy to maintain. The bugs weren't that bad either.

The only problem was when I got back on Sunday I had a hard time motivating myself to do anything. I did manage to get my laundry done thankfully, but I mostly just sat and watched TV all day. Then yesterday at work I had an extremely difficult time focusing and getting any work done. Hopefully I was able to shake it last night, but only time will tell.

30,000 and counting

So, my car just rolled over 30,000 miles on my way home from work yesterday. It's interesting to think that I've driven that far in only 2 years. This is quite a bit farther than my last car made it. The car's been all over New England and even made a trip half-way across the country. I have some grand plans for a few more road trips, so who knows, before it dies it just might see the whole country.

3x Thursday: Insubordination

Compliments of Missy Williams:

1. What was the worst job you've ever had?

   This one is a toss up. Working at a fast food restaurant is pretty shitty as far as jobs go, but my job at the law firm probably gets the top spot. I worked as a first tier tech support person in the firms IT department. This meant I had to take calls from smug, stuck-up, rich lawyers complaining that their computers didn't work and that I'd better fix it now or they were going to my boss. I'll gladly flip burgers before I do that shit again. The only solace I take is that the firm closed down this year because of financial problems.

2. What about now? Do you like your current job? Why/why not?

   I like my job. I work as a software developer in a fairly small company. I don't think I could work in a large development company because I wouldn't have the freedom I have here. I'm certainly not the most experienced developer here, but I have a ton of responsibility and I pretty much decide what I work on and when. Plus it doesn't hurt that I pretty much make my own hours.

3. Ever been fired or quit because you were insubordinate? (*good* explanation is worth bonus donut points)

   Heh, I've worked at a Wendy's on 3 different occasions, all 3 ended on not such good notes. The first time I worked at a Wendy's was my first job. I got stuck on the closing shift cleaning up the dining area, closing the salad bar, etc. My boss had me staying past 11 (which was illegal because I was under 18), so I called up and told them I wasn't coming back. They tried to get me to at least give them two weeks, but I said no.

   The second time was during the summer after my senior year of high school. My last night there we were severely understaffed, to the point that we closed the store early because otherwise we never would have gotten out of there. One of my coworkers had some pot in his car, so he, myself, and my manager (a woman, for future reference), went out back, smoked it, then tried to clean up. We did an awful job, but what did I care? I was high and I wasn't coming back... (Fun side note: I found out after I left that the manager and the other guy had sex all over the store. Another funny note: that same manager got arrested 1 year later when she and her boyfriend tried to rob the store).

   The third and final time was the summer after my freshman year of college. 2 of my friends were working there that summer too, but they both went to UNH, which starts their fall classes about a month before NU did. I had been working graveyards all summer with my friend Luke, which made it semi-tolerable. When it came time for Luke to go back to school though, they were going to pair me up with the worst manager there. I decided there was no way I could do a month of that, so I wrote them a note telling them they were all a bunch of fucking ass holes and where they could shove various objects and only went back to get my paycheck.

Bonus: What's your dream job and salary that you could live comfortably on?
I wouldn't mind having Bill Gates job (creative director my ass). Seriously though, if I could be the CTO, or even just a principal developer and make over $100k, I'd be more than happy. Unfortunately, as you get into that range you become management, which is something I definitely do not want to become.

3 for Thursday 7/24/03

3 for Thursday

1. What are 3 time eras you'd like to live in for a week, to see how things really were?
   1. As I've said before, I'd love to see the 1960s
   2. Ancient Egypt so I could watch the construction of the Pyramids
   3. The 1770s so I could witness the founding of the US
2. What are 3 events in history that you would have liked to witness?
   1. The signing of the Declaration of Independence
   2. Slightly morbid: being in the Enola Gay to see "Fat Man" drop on Hiroshima
   3. Go back to 1918, so I could actually see the Red Sox win a World Series
3. What are 3 world or local events that have taken place in your lifetime that has changed how you live your life - or has made you see things differently?
   1. September 11th changed just about everyone's lives
   2. The Challenger explosion hit home in more than one way. Not only was Christa McAuliffe from New Hampshire, but the incident happened on my sister Sam's birthday
   3. The protest at Tiananmen Square showed me that there are things in life that are worth dying for

BONUS: If there could be one event/tragedy that has taken place in the past that you could prevent or erase, what would it be and why?
I wouldn't. Everything has a cause and effect. Who knows what would have happened if the attack at Fort Sumter never occured, or if Hitler didn't start up concentration camps. For all we know, preventing one tragedy could produce 10 more. Plus, if you subsribe to the philosophy of the most recent Terminator movie, fate can't be changed, only postponed.

I'm not lucky in love

This is starting to become a disturbing trend...

I met this girl on-line through a personals site I had listed myself on after the breakup with Kate. Obviously I knew she was interested in me because she started the conversation. I wrote back, and a tentative relationship formed. Things progressed to talking on the phone on a regular basis, trading photos, the typical getting to know each other stuff.

Everytime I would bring up getting together in person, she would sort of pull back, and I wouldn't hear from her for a day or two. I figured she was just a little shy, so I didn't push all that hard. 2 weeks ago, she headed off to Canada with her family for the week and then was heading to South Carolina, but promised that when she got back we would finally get together and see what happened. I found out later that the reason for the trip to SC was to visit her ex, who was graduating from a military academy. At this point I'm starting to get a little suspicious; I still talk to Kate occasionally, but I don't think I'd go on a trip to visit her for any reason.

So her expected return date came and went, I e-mailed, tried calling her but she was nowhere to be found. Then yesterday morning I found the following in my inbox:

Bob~
hey what's up? Nothing much here. How are you doing? I'm doing well. However I have some good news and I have some bad news, the bad news is when i went to go see my ex graduate, it was very sad because I realized how much I missed him, and loved him, and regret not being with him However, I guess he felt the same way, because when we saw each other, it was an instant connection, and we kissed and made up, and then later that day he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.... and I said yes... I guess he was planning it, and he called my parents earlier that week... I'm sorry... i know you'll probably not want to be friends ... but i hope we do....stay friends..

So now I'm back to square one and feeling a little down. Hopefully work will help get me out of the funk.

Burning down the house

So last night I had a dream I was back working at Wendy's, but for some reason, the Wendy's was in my apartment and my whole family was working there. I was working on the grill, when someone accidentally poured grease on the grill, which then ignited. I managed to put out the fire, and things continued normally until I finished my shift. As I was walking out though, the grill caught fire again, and burned down my entire building. The fire truck sirens then turned into my alarm clock walking me up for another day.

Poison Ivy

Last friday I noticed what looked like a bug bite on my right ring finger. It was quite large though, it almost looked like I had been bitten multiple times on the same spot. I didn't think much of it until I woke up the next day and noticed I have some similar red bumpy, itchy skin on the right side of my face. Having had a history of weird skin rashes, I decided to go have it looked at. Imagine my surprise when the doctor told me it was poison ivy! The doctor gave me some meds to help with the swelling and itching and all that, and it's already started to make a difference. Thankfully it was never really bad to begin with.

I live in an urban area surrounded by malls and car dealerships, but my apartment complex is fairly isolated and actually has quite a bit of greenery, but I never thought I'd get poison ivy mostly in part to the fact I'd never had it before. I guess I'll have to be more careful walking around in the woods now.

Congrats Shelly and Craig!

On Saturday, I attended the wedding of my long time neighbor and friend Shelly. Shelly's without a doubt the nicest person I have ever known. She never has a bad thing to say about people and always manages to be upbeat in every situation. Craig, who I've only had the opportunity to meet a few times, is hilarious guy especially when he's singing and dancing.

The other good thing about the wedding was it gave me a chance to see some people I hadn't seen in a while, not to mention to meet some really cool new people. After the reception, Heather and I hung out for a while, and ended up in Manchester with our friend Luke for a night of drinks and fun.

Yesterday was much needed down time, but I did manage to do some cleaning in between my naps to shake the hang over (I started drinking at noon on Saturday...). So now it's back to work, we'll see what I can get accomplished today.

Dreaming of you

I love dreams. When I was younger I used to keep a dream log; when I got up in the morning I wrote down everything I could remember about the dream. It helped brainstorm ideas, and also helped recognize my own emotional state. Somewhere along the line though, I stopped having dreams, or at least dreams I remembered when I woke up the next day. I would wake up and know that I had a dream, but could never really poll my brain for any details. So when I had an extremely vivid dream last night, it felt really good to actually remember it when I woke up.

My dream mostly consisted of moments in a relationship with Avril Lavigne (don't ask me how she got there). The first was a rather... intimate moment shall we say. I'll leave it at that because I'd rather not talk about my sexual fantasies, ok? After that, we went over to what I assume was her parents' place. Her parents had 3 pug dogs that they apparently bred, because none of them had been spayed or neutered, which made them about 50% bigger than my parents' dogs. After playing with the dogs for a while, we went inside and had lunch, which was a homemade pizza of some kind. At this point, her brother showed up (her brother was Jake Busey for some reason). We proceeded to have a conversation about various anime (some real, some not).

Just as Avril and I were leaving to go back to our house, the alarm clock went off. I was tempted to try to go back to sleep for a while, but experience has shown me that I almost never go back to where I was in the dream. I can only hope that last night was a beginning of a trend and not just a one-night aberration, because I could certainly use the creative material my brain produces at night.

Back to work

Actually, yesterday was my first day back after my week and a half vacation, but that's besides the point. Unfortunately I didn't get up to Bar Harbor last week because my cousin Steven was using the house for his honeymoon. So I spent most of last week working on various things, like setting up a new file server, cleaning and organizing the apartment a little, but mostly just video games and TV.

I did catch both T3 and Pirates of the Carribean in the last week. I thought they both had their merits, but I thought Pirates was the better movie overall because the action wasn't just about things blowing up and the plot had less holes in it.

Shane got an offer from his friend Matt to go down to Florida and work for his dad's company, but he's not sure if he wants to move down there. Part of me wants him to stay b/c he's my friend (not to mention I could use the extra money I'm saving by him sharing the apartment), but I also realize this could be an interesting opportunity for him. The market in the northeast is still horrible as far as tech jobs go, so I wouldn't be surprised if he took it.

Thank You Mr. Monteith

I went to the funeral of my high school physics teacher, Ken Monteith, today. He was only 52, but developed an inoperable brain tumor last year. At the time, they gave him only 6 months to live, not only did he pass those expectations, he managed to finish most of the school year until the last month, when his health really started to deteriorate.

I didn't do particularly well in Ken's physics class (one of the 2 classes I ever got a C in during high school), but what I learned in the class far out strips that. When I arrived at Northeastern (coincidentally Mr. Monteith's alma mater as well) I breezed through my physics requirements because I was so well prepared. I made sure to thank him for that later considering how much I complained during the class. The most important thing I take from that class has nothing to do with physics though. Mr. Monteith always ran a class-directed discussion; in other words he covered what we wanted to cover. What this lead to was some of the most interesting (and on other days the most boring) classes I've ever had. It was the closest thing I had to a college class in high school. It showed me I had to be more proactive about my own learning, a lesson that has served me well until this day.

So thank you Ken Monteith, wherever you are now. You touched my life in ways you hadn't planned, and you will always have a fond place in my heart.

A weighty problem

Those that know me or have perused through my photos know that I'm overweight, and have been for quite some time. Over the years I've tried different diets, whatever my parents were doing at the time (Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, etc). Nothing every really seemed to work. As I grew older, I grew bigger. By the time I graduated high school I weighed over 250 lbs. At the end of college I was pushing 300. It wasn't until late last year that I finally realized why I had had such a hard time.

To refresh your memory (or to catch you up, depending), in August I moved to Nashua with my girlfriend of some 5 months, Kate. Shortly there after she broke up with me and headed off to New Zealand to marry some guy she met through Everquest. In October, the company I was working for announced that they were selling the company which meant layoffs were around the corner. Sure enough, at the end of the month I was one of the many that got laid off (2 days before my birthday no less). Now at this point I'd already started to take anti-depressants and see a therapist, so I managed to take that fairly well. The longer I stayed on the meds, the better I felt, even with my situation.

It was right around Christmas that I finally made a decision. I had made a conscious decision to change my life, to get help with my depression, so why not make the same decision to lose weight. So I got rid of all the crap food in my kitchen, got a scale, and started on a new regiment. At first all I did was keep a log of everything I ate, not for calorie counting, just to look at what I ate on a regular basis. This alone was extremely enlightening; the more I thought about what I was eating, the less likely I was to overeat. I made more smart decisions about the kinds of foods I ate; less carbohydrates, more vegetables, less sugars. The pounds slowly started to come off, my clothes started to fit better, I was feeling better about myself. Eventually, as the diet was starting to lose its affect, I added more physical activity, walking, skiing, and eventually a full cardio/weight training program at the gym, all to keep my metabolism up. The pounds are continuing to come off, and as it stands today, I've lost about 50 lbs.

The thing I realized during this period is this: All the times I had tried to lose weight before, I was never really committed. I wasn't willing to change my life in order to get the results I wanted. I was hoping for an easy fix to the problem. It wasn't until I realized that it was my lifestyle that was the problem, and that my weight was just a symptom that I was able to lose any weight. I'm sure most people who've lost weight will tell you the same thing. Until you're ready to change you're life, you're not likely to succeed.